Use Your Dominance To Improve Your Submissive's Life

The ability to have anything you want from your submissive is intoxicating. It’s a thrill knowing that, within established limits, you can have anything you want from her, at any time. 

And chances are, she will enjoy giving it to you and gain a sense of pleasure and fulfillment from being given the opportunity to obey and please. 

So why not use this power to have everything you want all the time? 

Because, like so much else in life, restraint has its benefits. Holding back gets you even more in the long run. 

Think about it from her perspective. You’ve given this man control of your mind, body, and soul, and given away much of your agency and power to decide things for yourself. You’ve accepted a very vulnerable position. 

Now, this person to whom you have ceded control has the power to do with you as he wishes. And when he takes what he wants and needs from you, it’s thrilling and you feel a sense of purpose in being the object of his desire. 

But then sometimes, when he’s obviously wants something requiring your time and attention, he…

Sends you to bed because you’re clearly tired. 

Or…

Encourages you to go visit with your friends, or to take some time to yourself, because he knows that you need that to be your best. 

How much more would you respect him? He could have taken what he wanted, but he put your needs first. 

Fear

Dawn had a fear when she was learning about D/s and deciding if she wanted to be my submissive, that she would end up losing herself if she was to be solely focused on serving and pleasing me. 

But I reassured her that this would not be the way that I would lead her. 

And to this day, I use my control and power in our relationship to make her life better. Not just to get what I want out of her. I wasn’t that person before I became Sir, and I haven’t become that person after she put on my collar. 

And this has only added to the depth and strength of our relationship. 

As much as I’ve used that power to please my own whims and desires, I’ve used it even more to enforce bedtimes, decrease caffeine intake, help her let go of people and situations that were dragging her down, encourage her to loosen up and have fun, encourage her self growth and career, and many other things to make her life better. 

Improving her, Improving me

I don’t want a doormat as a submissive. I want someone strong, beautiful, capable, intelligent, educated, well spoken, and powerful. And I want her to use all of those capabilities in her life and in our relationship. 

Dawn isn’t forced to do anything, she is free to choose. And if, at her absolute strongest and best, she chooses to submit to me, then I have earned the right to complete access to the best version of her. I have both created and conquered. 

If she submits out of weakness, because she can’t do anything else, I have gained or earned nothing. 

This is why the most fulfillment comes from a D/s relationship in which the submissive is built up, encouraged, loved, and cared for. It builds and requires the strength of the Dominant. 

If Dominants only seek to gain the submission of someone below their own level of self-respect, there is no growth required. But when your submissive is growing, free, flourishing, and full of self respect and self love, the level of the Dominant must also increase to earn and deserve the respect of a respectable submissive. 

Using your control to improve the life of your submissive is just as much about improving yourself as it is about improving her. It requires the Dominant to become more and better himself, to grow in His own self control, self awareness, and self respect. 

It creates endless opportunities for personal growth, and all fulfillment in life comes from growth.