Selfish Submission

I want Dawn to be a selfish submissive.

Humans are all selfish creatures, and we are all better off when we allow ourselves to want enjoyment out of our lives.

This doesn’t mean that our happiness requires the sacrifice of someone else.

People pleasers act as though they are being “unselfish”. But this is never the case. There is always some hidden self interest in the people pleaser’s actions, and also in the reason they are trying to appear so unselfish.

It’s the hidden motives that are not only selfish, they are manipulative. They are trying to influence the emotions or actions of the other. Usually, this is some version of, I’ll be unselfish and give to you, then I expect you to be unselfish and give to me or I will be hurt and resentful.

This covert manipulation is not consensual, and requires a win/lose mentality, which breeds resentment. Nothing good for a loving relationship.

Polarity, and loving D/s is all about win/win. Where the self interest of both parties is served by every action and facet of the relationship.

So how does a selfish submissive serve and please?

This was Dawn’s question for me when I told her that I wanted her to be more selfish. She said, “but sometimes I just want to give to you, Sir.”

You serve with selfishness by giving from your heart, rather than just giving with your actions.

If I request that you make dinner for us, and you do it just because I asked, then you’ve taken all of that action from your masculine “doing” energy. Even if I express gratitude, you won’t fully receive it because you aren’t in your receptivity.

But if you cook dinner because you feel a genuine enjoyment in serving your Sir, you have given your heart. You’ve received pleasure from yourself, first. Then, you are already wide open in your receptivity, and my gratitude will feed our polarity, and your feminine heart.

Just choose to give in the ways that you genuinely enjoy giving, for your own pleasure first, without expectation.

After all, my favorite gift is seeing my greatest love happy and fulfilled. When she chooses to give to me for her own pleasure, she gives twice, through service and by giving me her open heart.