Falling In Love With Myself

This post was originally written by Dawn in February 2022 and is being moved here as we migrate to our new blog and website platform. This inner child work has gone much deeper since this was written, but we're moving it here unedited.

Just love yourself. It sounds so simple.

Just be yourself. I am!

Well, at least I think I am. 

Love yourself!

Um, I think I do.

Well, maybe. But do I? 

I heard the phrase you have to love yourself so many times before. And I would just think, how do I DO that? 

Two years ago, I dove deep into expanding my mind. I wanted to learn and grow. What I didn’t know at the beginning of that was where I would end up two years later. 

I read. I listened to podcasts. Audiobooks. Had a lot of conversation with Sir. One area of growth led to another. 

I found the @the.holistic.pyschologist account. I started absorbing all of her information and read her book, “How to do the Work.” 

I was introduced to the concept of my inner child. Little Dawn. 

I went through a guided mediation with Dr. Nicole that focused on walking hand and hand with Little Dawn through my childhood home.  Walking through the home as if I was really there but just watching at the same time.  At the end, she said now hug that little version of yourself.  What an amazing experience that was.  I sobbed so deeply.  

The little Dawn who loved playing with Barbies. Who loved playing with her baby dolls. The little Dawn who deeply desired to feel loved by her parents but wasn’t ever able to receive that love. The little Dawn who just wanted to feel loved for who she was. The little Dawn who existed before the world shoved her into a box. 

One night as I lay in bed cuddled up with Sir, a bright light all of a sudden appeared despite my eyes being closed.  I heard the words OPEN YOUR HEART spoken to me.  And just like that the darkness appeared again.  I didn’t think that much of it.  But as I continued my journey of self acceptance, the meaning started to reveal itself.  

I couldn’t fully and truly love myself before because I didn’t even fully know myself, the authentic Dawn. I couldn’t love an inauthentic version of myself even though I didn’t even know better. I had to uncover little Dawn first. 

One Sunday morning I was sitting with Sir having coffee when when he hugged me.  Immediately, I FELT little Dawn in the middle of us.  It was such an intense feeling……feeling like I felt little Dawn.  

I felt my own love and I felt Sir’s love of little Dawn all together at the same time.  The emotions started to bubble up inside and the tears started to flow. 

I cried for all the times that little Dawn just tried to be heard, but wasn’t.  

The times little Dawn tried to get love but didn’t.  

The times she so desperately just wanted to be seen for the amazing little girl she was.  

I FELT ALL OF IT. 

It felt so raw and vulnerable.  

It felt amazing to receive the love that I have always deserved.  

The love that I am worthy of feeling…….MY OWN LOVE FOR MYSELF.  

I have fallen in love with little Dawn. 

She is so sweet and playful. She has a deep desire to give and receive love, unconditionally. The ability to give love was always there. It has always flowed freely.

But now my capacity to receive love has deepened which has deepened my capacity to give love as well. 

All because I opened my heart and received my own love.