A Day In Dawn’s Life As A 24/7 Submissive

I would like to thank one of our Instagram followers for the inspiration for this post! In a comment, she asked:

I’m interested in the knitty gritty details of how you use your authority, and specific tasks and scenarios in which you tell her exactly what to do. Do you tell her what to wear each day? Do you instruct her to shower? Do you plan her whole day for her, and if so, is it something you lay out on a weekly basis or a daily basis? Is there anything that she can do for you without your direction (like what if she wanted to plans and throw you a surprise party)?

This is a very good question, and one that I felt needed more than a reply to a comment. And my reply got longer than would fit into an Instagram caption, so it’s ending up as a blog post instead.

*This post was originally made in 2021. A lot has changed for us since this was written and posted, but the general heart behind it remains the same. We don't do everything this same way, because we've both grown a lot, and our D/s dynamic has grown much deeper in these past 2 years, but as we move to our new blog platform, this is being reposted unedited. 

Dawn’s day to day life as a 24/7 submissive probably doesn’t look the way you’d expect.

First of all, let me tell you a few things that it doesn’t look like.

She isn’t kneeling next to me wherever I go, waiting for instructions on what to do.

She isn’t working through a list of tasks which I have assigned her, or a meticulously planned schedule from which she is not allowed to deviate.

She isn’t forced to ask permission to sit on furniture, to eat or drink, or to use the bathroom.

A Day In The Life

Here’s a rundown of a recent day in our lives.

I wake up early. Usually at 5 am without an alarm. I came downstairs from our bedroom and worked on writing, meditating, straightening up the kitchen, and planning out our day.

Dawn woke up around 6:30 and texted me “Good morning, Sir” after she had completed the meditation practice I have been teaching her, at which point I brought her a cup of coffee and we got her dressed in some casual clothes for the morning.

We relaxed, had coffee together, ate breakfast, then Dawn did her workout while I took care of some chores, with a few breaks to grab her ass because, well, it’s fun to grab and it’s mine.

Dawn got herself showered, then helped her daughter get ready for prom by helping her do her hair and nails while I played fetch with our dog, worked on our boat, and got myself ready.

We left to pick up a friend from the airport. Dawn was late getting to the car for the time I told her we needed to leave. She wasn’t beaten or punished. She apologized and that was that.

We picked up our friend and had lunch, with some wonderful deep conversations about life and relationships and love, then brought her home.

We had some fun that I’d been craving ever since the morning ass grabbing, then took our dog for a walk, had dinner, and listened to the audiobook we’ve been listening to, pausing for deep conversations along the way. Then we both went to bed.

Fantasy vs. Reality

Doesn’t sound much like an internet fantasy of a 24/7 Dominant/submissive relationship, does it?

So are we just posers, or is there more to this than just 24/7 bossing around?

Here are a few of the things that also happened in the course of that day.

Without having to be told, Dawn:

• Executed a skincare routine that I’ve researched, planned, and given her all of the necessary products to complete.

• Completed a workout to continue to shape her body into its ideal form

• Tracked her food through a tracking app, towards goals that I’ve set for her, after consulting her for her input

• Consistently walked and sat on my right side

• Waited to begin eating until I had started, except at the restaurant when her food arrived before mine and I gave her permission to start without me

• Sought my approval and validation

• Reached for my hand when we crossed busy streets

• Asked me for help making decisions on what to eat

• Spent time reading a couple of different books I’ve selected for her

Amongst many other things I’m sure I’m not even remembering.

Long term 24/7 D/s relationships aren’t realistic if the Dominant partner is expected to make every single decision every single day. Its just not possible.

Leadership, not Mr. BossyDom

Instead of bossing Dawn around all day, I’ve set the parameters for how she is expected to please and obey.

I’ve set the direction for our lives, our relationship, and each of our individual and separate personal development, with her input and consent towards all of these.

And I guide her, teach her, and lead her along the way.

As for the nitty gritty of what I’m leading her towards?

First, towards setting her sexuality free from her childhood religious programming, so she can feel desire without shame and crave pleasure without holding back. So she can feel at home in her own body and connected with her own sensuality and pleasure.

Second, towards freeing her spirit from the ways that she has been shackled by her past. She has so much inner drive and work ethic, which keeps her stuck in “doing” mode by default. She never got to know herself because she always needed to stay busy. I’m helping her learn that she can be a little irresponsible, enjoy just being, and take pride in being loose and free and feminine.

So when I tell her what to do, it’s not often: “Go prepare dinner, with these specific ingredients and have it on the table by 6:15 PM.”

It’s much more likely to be “Go up to our bedroom and stretch, relax, and read a book until I’m finished with dinner.”

Bossing her around all day would be directly antagonistic towards the goals I’ve set for her, because it would keep her in the mental space that takes her away from connecting with her sexuality and freeing her spirit.

My dominance is taking control of her life and its direction, then using that control to create a space for her to safely grow into her own authentic sexuality and personality.

Dominants Have Emotional Needs Too

So, am I just focused solely on her needs and not at all on what I want and need? Hardly. I also get my own needs and desires met through this process. This isn’t just about her and not about me…not by a long shot.

I’m creating the life I want at the same time as I help her grow. My own life is better by helping her be better. Her submission feeds my dominance, just as my dominance feeds her submission.

I’m a human being, not just a Dominant. I want a connection with a human being, with my wife, with my submissive. I have emotional needs, not just physical needs.

I need to feel sexually craved and desired. I need the energy of her femininity to inspire my masculinity. I need to feel respected and appreciated. I need to see her growing, happy, and fulfilled.

None of my particular emotional needs are met by bossing her around. I can’t force sexual desire. Femininity is the exact opposite of following orders. Respect and appreciation are only authentic if they’re given freely out of genuine gratitude. Growth, happiness, and fulfillment are things internal to her, and not things I can directly control with task lists and schedules.

Reducing her to a robot who only acts on commands is just avoiding the complexity of reality and interpersonal human interaction. You can do that for an hour here or an evening there, but not even all day, much less for a whole life.

So yes, Dawn can act on her own. I don’t tell her when to shower. I plan out our days, but I don’t hold her to a rigid schedule. And if she’d like to throw me a surprise party, go out to happy hour with her girlfriends, or spend time doing something for herself, she doesn’t need my permission. But she’ll ask for it, and I’ll give it to her almost every time.

She knows who she is, she’s committed to her devotion and submission to me, and we move deeper into our love for each other through my dominance and her complete and total submission to me every day.